The Right Kind of Wrong
by ndj35
Summary: S4, Tom and Sasha finally confront each other, reunited on the James. Stand alone story, not linked to my other stories or the Step universe.
1. Chapter 1

_Author's note: This is a short piece set early season 4. Definitively not part of, or anything to do with, the 'Step' universe that my other stories live in._

 **The Right Kind of Wrong**

Of course it had to happen in the same place. Tom would have thought the gods were mocking him, if he hadn't known it was down to the much more earthly actions of Mike Slattery.

So here they were, he and Sasha, face to face, in the same room on the James in which he'd kissed her and then left her, sixteen months ago.

"What do you want, Tom?" She asked, her tone a little hostile as she looked at him impatiently.

"I thought we should clear the air." He'd practiced the line in his head, but coming out of his mouth it felt so weak.

"What air?" She leant against the wall, her arms folded. "My air is just fine."

"I-" He paused, fighting a rising tide of panic, the same kind of panic that had made him voyage halfway across the world in the first place, seeking a peace that had turned out to be entirely fragile. "I left, and-"

"And we got along just fine without you." She sounded so dismissive that had he not noticed the very slight tremor in her voice, had he not remembered that little tell of hers, then he might have believed it.

"I know, I can see that, but I still left-"

"Me!" She shouted suddenly, erupting across the cabin and into his space, her face now inches from his "You left me! You absolute bastard, Tom!" As she said his name, her voice broke.

And she was so beautiful, fiery, strong and vulnerable, all at the same time, and nothing had changed, absolutely nothing, and he grabbed her waist, jerking her against him and covering her mouth with his. For second, he felt everything click into place as her body yielded to his, but then she bit down on his lip and shoved him away with such force that he stumbled.

"That isn't how you fix this!" She looked shocked, and angry, but there was something else...

"I'm sorry, I know," He tried to justify himself, "I just-"

"You just what, Tom?" She forced her hands through her hair in a gesture of impatience he remembered from fifteen years ago.

"I just-" The words stuck in his throat, but he forced them free. "Every time I set eyes on you, I forget everything else. It's like there's nothing in this world that I want more than you. And I can't-"

And this time it wasn't a lack of words that stopped him mid-sentence, it was Sasha's mouth meeting his.

She kissed him with a kind of raw, painful hunger, that he matched as their mouths opened instinctively and their tongues tangled. It wasn't romantic, it was messy and desperate, and a perfect reflection of everything that had happened, was happening, between them.

When he had no choice but to pull back for a gasp of air, Tom saw the tears on Sasha's lashes and felt even worse, somehow, than he had before. She opened her eyes when he didn't return to the kiss, and what he saw there made him swallow hard.

"I'm seeing someone." She told him, her voice filled with something like regret.

"So am I." He admitted, even though he felt he could dismiss Cali in an instant, now that he knew his feelings for Sasha hadn't abated in the slightest.

"And I don't even care." She said brokenly, the tears spilling down her cheeks as she grabbed him and pulled him into another kiss, his arms wrapping around her so tightly that he wasn't sure he could ever let her go again.

This was clearly wrong on so many levels, so how could it feel so right?


	2. Chapter 2

_Author's note: I went back and forth a lot about this chapter, but in the end ScarlettKate's review swayed me; though this might not be quite what you were looking for… Rating changed to M for reasons that will become obvious._

There were so many reasons for him to put a stop to this right now. They had hurt each other so badly in the past, and she was still so clearly angry with him. And then there was Cali, and Sasha's apparent boyfriend; and the crew of the James just metres away...

But then there was Sasha in his arms, her body pressed against his, feeling so right that his heart was almost beating out of his chest as they continued to kiss, her tears lending it a salty flavour.

 _We should stop, we should stop_... The words pounded in his head but didn't make it past his lips, lips which now tracked one of her tears along her jaw as she tipped her head back, his tongue helplessly following the trail down her throat as she let out a gentle moan.

And then her fingers slid under the back of his sweater, and Tom stopped thinking completely as her touch heated his skin as though she'd branded him; and before he knew it he was tearing at her jacket, pushing it down her arms, and she was helping him, even as she tugged his sweater and t-shirt over his head, her movements jerky and rough, and then his bare torso collided with her chest, only her thin tank top separating them, and he was eating at her mouth again, and her fingers were in his hair as she ground her hips into his.

 _We should stop..._ His logical mind made one last attempt, but it came at the same moment that Sasha's fingers started fumbling at his belt, and the words were swept away in a tide of desperate, hungry need.

Her boot hit him in the shin as she levered it off with her other foot, her lips never leaving his, and because her hand had slid inside his pants, he missed completely the part where hers came off. But he was acutely aware of the moment that his fingers gripped her hips and felt only the thinnest strip of cotton marring the sweep of soft bare skin.

His hands slid under the fabric of her panties and he lifted her, her legs wrapping around his waist as they both strove to get closer, closer, as close as two people can be, and then with a ripping of fabric and the feel of Sasha's nails digging suddenly into his shoulder, he was inside her.

The noise she made was somewhere between a moan and a sob, but she stayed wrapped tight around him, and her lips stayed on his, and so he stayed right where he was, stilled inside her, his eyes searching for hers. And then he remembered the bed behind them and span round, keeping her secure in his arms, guiding them down until he was laying above her, still deep inside her, and only then did he start to move.

She was gasping into his mouth, her fingers digging bruisingly into his back, and a part of him knew that it shouldn't be happening like this, that it should be slow and loving, and not here, not now, not rough and desperate and hard, but it was too late, far too late, and Sasha was quaking in his arms, arching against him, and he was driving deep, and then she jerked her head, pressing her mouth against his shoulder, and the muffled wail she was trying to contain was all he needed to tip him over the edge, even without the sudden fluttering of her core around him, and he bit back his own desperate groan as he surged inside her.

In the moment of stillness before the world came rushing back in, Tom's eyes met Sasha's, and he saw the absolute love that he felt for her reflected right back at him, and the peace that he'd been chasing all these months was suddenly right there to grab hold of.

"Sash, I-"

And then she was shoving him aside, stumbling from the bed, looking horrified as she took in, seemingly for the first time, the jumble of their discarded clothing, the evidence of what they'd just done. She clapped a hand over her mouth but still he heard the sob.

"What have I done?" She whispered.

And Tom's heart, so buoyant just seconds before, dropped like a stone.


	3. Chapter 3

Sasha swallowed down the bile that had surged into her throat, and ignoring the fact that one side of her panties was ripped through, she quickly jerked on her pants to cover herself.

Tom was speaking, he had been for a few moments, but only now did she let herself tune in.

"-wrong time, but Sash, I-"

And she quickly tuned him out again. She wasn't ready to hear it.

 _In control_. Sasha Cooper was always in control. And in the space of, what, fifteen minutes, that control had been completely lost. And without it, who the hell was she?

"I can't." She murmured, risking a glance at Tom. He was no longer talking, he was just looking up at her, bare chested, his hair tousled, and for a moment she saw her boyfriend of fifteen years ago so clearly that she had to blink.

"Can't what, Sash?" His tone was gentle, but with an edge of desperation that pierced her like a spike.

"Fletch..." But she trailed off, because the second she'd set eyes on Tom again, James Fletcher had ceased to exist as anything other than an obstacle, and the fact of that forced another sob from her throat.

"I'm sorry." Tom was standing now, holding out his arms tentatively, and she went into them because she had nowhere else to go - and if she was honest, truly honest, there was nowhere else she wanted to be.

"You hurt me when you left," She whispered into his chest, "And you hurt me when you came back," She heard his sharp intake of breath, but his arms stayed tight around her, his body steady as a rock for her to cling to as she tried to ride out this storm, knowing suddenly that the only way to calm the waves was to admit the truth. "But I don't want anything in this world as much as I want you."

Hearing his own words reflected back through Sasha's lips sent a surge of relief through Tom that was so strong he would have buckled if he hadn't known that right now his job was to hold her steady.

"Then we'll figure out the rest of it." He reassured her, believing it now. "Because in spite of anything else, Sash, I love you."

She tipped her face up to look at him, seeing the sincerity in his eyes, the clear blue of a calm sea, and let herself believe it. He had hurt her, and fifteen years ago she had hurt him, and they could never be certain that in the future they wouldn't hurt each other again, but that didn't change the incontrovertible fact that she'd spent sixteen months - perhaps fifteen years and sixteen months - trying to ignore.

"I love you too, Tom."

 **THE END**

 _Thank you for reading, I'd love to hear what you think in a review!_


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